Find yourself questioning religion? Not sure which path to take? Scared to death by Tom Cruise? Then SHIANTOLOGY may be for you. A new religion founded on Sunday, February 8, 2009 and characterized by a belief in the power of Shia’s spirit to clear itself of past painful experiences (in particular, hand smashing car crashes and drunken outbursts in Walgreens) through self-knowledge, spiritual fulfillment and copious amounts of Arizona Ice Tea. Shiantology places an emphasis upon Shia’s immortal spirit, Shiacarnation, an extrascientific method of pshiachotherapy (Shianetics), and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, daily SHIA WALKING POSTS.